Prank War 2
by LittleDragonNeko
Summary: The sequel has finally started. You knew it wouldn't last between them. It's Alister and Valon, there's no such thing as a normal, civil day with those two. Rated for language.
1. Who touched that remote?

Ice: So here we are, round 2. As my own ideas run out, I am taking requests and so long as you provide them, this will keep going on in 20 chapter segments. For the record, I have 11 ideas from you reviewers currently. While I do have the ideas, it'll still take me awhile to write them up… Credit will also be given to those who submit their ideas.

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Now it's time for one of Kohakuhime of Konoha's ideas to get this started off

A couple months had passed and our favorite trio still hadn't entirely settled down from their usual escapades. Alister and Valon had continued to be at each other's throats, but had been doing so in the typical violent fashion. Alister would take whatever object was closest at the time and launch it at Valon's head while Raphael would just look on and shake his head in disbelief.

This particular afternoon, Valon was being a brat as usual and stole Alister's seat on the couch for the millionth time declaring himself in control of the TV. Alister had yet to leave his room, but knew he was going to hate doing so.

"Hey! You know the rule! Mutt gets off the couch!" he yelled as he finally walked into the room.

"I'm not a mutt. I can sit on the couch if I want to," Valon replied.

"Of course you can, so long as it's not in my spot and the whole couch happens to be my spot."

"Couch hog!"

"Flea-bitten mutt!"

"I'm not Joey!"

"You were still after Mai!"

"…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Out of my spot. Now."

Valon scoffed and shuffled off the couch to find something to eat. He hated Alister more every day for kicking him off the couch and never letting him watch what he wanted. Who gave him that right anyway? Raphael was the oldest. If anything, he should be the one to give out the power of the remote. Oh wait, he did. He didn't care and it went to the next oldest, Alister. Well, so much for that.

_Gah, there's never anything I want to eat when I don't know what I feel like. I just want one day to sit on the couch undisturbed and watch some TV, is that so wrong?_ Valon thought.

He continued to search through every cabinet and the fridge trying to decide on something edible for lunch. It was a shame that Raphael wasn't home to cook. Valon never had a complaint about his cooking, but he also didn't have the fear that he was going to be poisoned by it one day either.

Meanwhile in the living room, Alister was getting annoyed with nothing being on TV at the time. He began to wonder why he even bothered to kick Valon off the couch to start with. Clearly it was the principle of the matter. He knew his place was on the floor, not on his couch or in Raph's chair. It's just how it worked.

_There has got to be something more entertaining than this. I can't take anymore of this Desperate Housewives or this Two and A Half Men show. What is wrong with TV today? Seriously. I guess it couldn't hurt to let Valon have the TV today…at a cost… What did Raph do with that spare remote…?_ Alister began to scheme.

He got up and ran to Raphael's room. He tried to think where he would have put it if he were Raph. Clearly that was not working as he could never put himself in someone else's shoes as that is rather disturbing.

_I mean really. Why would I want to put myself in someone's shoes? That's just creepy,_ he thought.

He went through the closet, every shelf, and even under the bed. He was coming up empty handed and was thoroughly unhappy with the idea. He had a small window to pull this off, and it was looking like it just wasn't going to happen. Then he had an idea. What if he didn't actually put it in his room? What if he put it in the storage closet in the hall with the rest of their useless junk?

He sprinted for the closet praying Valon hadn't heard him leave the room. He shifted everything around until he finally found his prize, the universal remote control. He ran back to the living room scanning through the instructions until he found his programming code. Jamming it in the remote, he tried to contain his grin.

_Oh man, this is gonna be the best ever… I can't wait to see his face…_, he thought.

The moment the TV recognized the device, he hopped up and ran for his jacket.

"Hey, mutt! I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back soon…maybe…eventually…" he trailed off as he ran for the door with the remote.

"Well, that's weird. Why bother to tell me…?" Valon said to no one in particular.

He shrugged and went back to making his nachos. He wished they had the awesome liquid nacho cheese, but alas, he had to make do with melting slices of cheese on the chips. As soon as he was satisfied with the cheesiness, he headed back to the living room. He was about to sit on the floor when he had a sudden realization.

_Wait a minute, Alister isn't here… He can't tell me to get off the couch! Oh happy day, happy day…_

He smiled to himself and got comfortable in Alister's seat. He took a moment to take in the glorious occasion before reaching for the remote. It didn't happen often and he wanted to have it ingrained in his memory as the day he wasn't harassed for sitting on the couch.

_Yeah, that's enough. Now to eat and watch something good… What the bloody hell was he watching? Desperate Housewives? More like Desperate Alister… He needs to get laid. I mean, seriously. I at least got close with Mai and who knows how long it's been for him. That's all I'm saying. There has to got to be something better on…_, he rambled in his mind as he skimmed the channels.

Truth be told, there really wasn't anything decent on that afternoon. He finally settled on an episode of Hello Kitty. He figured the damage had already been done so big deal if he was caught watching it. He started to enjoy himself when something strange began to happen.

Everything was quiet and peaceful as he snacked on his nachos until the channel changed to the Lifetime network. He looked at it quizzically wondering how that happened. He shrugged and turned it back.

Outside, Alister sat underneath the window laughing to himself. He had memorized the channels with all the shows they hated so that he could avoid them in the future. He was certain Valon would end up in tears wishing it would stop. He thought about the next channel he was going to turn to when he began to grin.

Valon was sitting happily content still in front of the TV. He wasn't sure what had attracted him to Hello Kitty in the first place, but he thought it was cute and that's all it took for him. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself enjoying the day when he heard four male voices he was certain did not belong in his show.

He opened his eyes in horror as the TV changed channels again and it was that dreaded kids' show, The Wiggles. He began to whimper and smash the remote to change the channel before it got any weirder. Sadly, it was too late and the damage had already been done for the boy.

Before he could change it, he lost it. He began to scream and ran out of the house from the sheer horror of the kids' show. Alister rolled in the grass from the sight. What started as a boring day suddenly became the best day ever. He was barely able to catch his breath when he spotted a flailing Valon running straight at him.

"Oh…shit…", he muttered as tried to get up holding his sides.

He ran for the door hoping to lock him outside. He figured it was his best chance for survival with Raphael gone for the day. Secretly hoping the blond would walk up at any second, he didn't notice Valon standing at his only chance of freedom.

"How the hell did you get in front of me?" Alister shrieked as he skidded to a stop.

"You thought you'd be funny. You thought you'd get a good laugh out of me. Now you're going to get it. The war is back on, asshole!" Valon ran towards him aiming to tackle the redhead to the ground.

Alister screeched like a little girl and took off for the giant tree in the yard. He scrambled up the branches watching the rabid Valon circle the tree. He closed his eyes thankful the boy showed no signs of wanting to climb up after him. When he opened them a second later, Valon was gone.

He had run off to the garage and found an assortment of baseballs and tennis balls that had been stored for ages. He walked out with a box full and an evil grin. He knew it wouldn't go well climbing after him, and with his height, the rake could only reach so far. If it was one thing the Aussie could do well, it was throw a ball.

"Oh please no…," Alister whined when he realized there wasn't a safe place to hide in the bare tree.

Valon threw the soft tennis balls first hoping to make the redhead fall. When he didn't, he started chucking the baseballs as hard as he could. Alister's face lit up in horror as he tried to dodge the incoming missiles.

"WILL YOU CHILL OUT DOWN TEHRE, RAMBO?" He yelled down to him.

"WILL YOU COME DOWN HERE AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN?"

"HELL NO!"

Valon threw the next ball as hard as he could. It was the best throw in his life as it seemed to curve magically in the air to find Alister's face. There was no way he could have ducked to miss the lucky shot. The impact caused him to fall backwards out of the tree.

As soon as Alister hit the ground, Valon was on him. He continued to punch while screaming at him.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT, JACKASS?"

"IT WAS FUNNY DAMMIT AND I'D DO IT AGAIN!"

It was at this time that the older blond happened to be walking up the driveway. He was happily humming to himself when he heard shouting.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TORTURE ME LIKE THAT?"

"IT WAS FUNNY AND YOU KNOW IT!"

_Are they really at it again? I knew it wouldn't last. Guess I should consider breaking them up…again…_, Raphael sighed as he walked over.

He stood there for a moment taking in the sight of little Valon trying his best to beat up Alister. He was failing miserably, but it was quite the amusing sight. He walked over and grabbed the both of them by the back of their shirts. They immediately stopped their petty fussing to look at him.

"HE STARTED IT!" They each yelled and pointed at the other.

Raphael shook his head and dragged the two boys inside.

_Will it ever end? …Probably not…_, he thought, _Now where did I put that video camera...?  
_

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Ice: Trying to get back in the swing of things. I did promise that it was coming back, and indeed it is. Now I think it's time hit that little button in the corner to review… Maybe? Please?


	2. The Helmet

Ice: Here's chapter two! Sorry it took me awhile yet again… I'm lazy… This is another one of Kohakuhime of Konoha's ideas as I get back in the swing of things.

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The next day, Alister was sitting in his room. He was mostly still terrified of how angry Valon had been and also slightly miffed at the lecture they both received Raphael. He didn't particularly feel like being social around his housemates, but knew he was going to lose it if he stayed in his room any longer.

He had already sifted through the magazines that were scattered on his bed and at one point, he had been bored enough to clean half of his room. He couldn't recall the last time that had happened without Raphael spraying him with Lysol and hitting him with a broom. He had to admit the point was very well made.

Feeling himself about to lose his last shred of sanity, he looked out the window. It seemed like a nice enough day with a fairly calm breeze blowing through the trees. After a moment of gazing, he made up his mind to go out for the day.

He walked out to find Raphael in the living room watching TV and a restless Valon rocking back and forth in the floor from boredom.

"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back whenever I feel like it," he said mostly to Raphael while staring disturbed at Valon.

He turned to head back to his room for his forgotten jacket.

"I'm gonna go clean my bike!" Valon shouted as he ran for the garage.

Raphael raised an eyebrow, but decided not to bother.

_It's not my fault if they haven't learned their lesson. May as well enjoy the peace for now_, he sighed and went back to his shows.

In the garage, Valon was gathering his cleaning materials when he came across some adhesive spray. He grinned evilly as an idea came to him. Quickly looking to the door for any signs of Alister, he ran over to the redhead's helmet and sprayed the inside. He put the can back where he found it and went to clean his bike.

Alister walked in a moment later glaring at the boy. He couldn't help feel that he was always up to something. He watched him for a moment whistling as he shined his bike up.

_You know, just maybe this one time he's actually innocent…_ Alister thought as he grabbed his helmet and opened the garage door.

Putting it on, he hopped on his bike and rode off down the street. It really was a nice day out as he rode along. As he stopped at a red light, he couldn't help notice the girl next to him on a bike similar to his.

She glanced over and motioned for him to follow her. Thinking it just might be his lucky day, he raced after her when the light turned green. She led him on a chase through traffic and down obstacles such as stairs and dodging pedestrians. He was fairly certain she had lost her mind until they came to a stop by a lake.

She got off and looked around. Alister quickly followed suit. When she felt certain that no one was around, she looked at him.

"Good of you to keep up."

"You certainly didn't make it easy, Ms…" he replied hoping to get a name out of her.

"Nice try. You're not getting my name that easy, pretty boy."

"Eh, can't blame a guy for trying. So do I get to see your face, pretty lady?" he secretly crossed his fingers for some luck this time.

"Well, since you're being so nice, I guess it can't hurt anything," she said as she took her helmet off.

It revealed a pretty good-looking girl around his age with long, dark hair. He definitely didn't see that coming. He was thankful his helmet was still on to hide his dropped jaw.

_Oh, man… This has to be my lucky day… She's crazy…and she's hot…_ He thought, not realizing she was trying to talk to him.

"So how about I get a name and a face from you?" She asked for the third time with a hint of annoyance.

"Oh! Uh… My name is Alister," he said suddenly panicking.

"Alister, huh? That's a fun name. So how about that face, Mr. Alister?"

"Nice try, but not until I get a name from you."

_Ha! Yeah, I'm that smooth…hopefully…_

"How about on three and I'll give you a head start on taking it off?"

"Deal."

It was the moment of truth for him and he placed his hands on his helmet. He braced himself knowing this could be the deciding factor for how the rest of his life went. He decided he was ready and started to lift…

"My name is Kar…"

"OH FUCKING HELL, I WILL KILL YOU, VALON!" He suddenly shouted realizing the helmet wasn't coming off.

Cursing his luck, he hopped on his bike and sped off back home. The girl stood there in awe unable to believe what just happened. She chalked it up to bad luck and decided it might be worth it to pursue. She hopped on her bike with nothing, but a name.

_I'm sure it won't be hard to find him…_, she thought.

"I'm going to kill him when I get home… He is so going to die…" Alister mumbled.

When he reached the house, he left his bike outside the garage and stormed inside. Valon was sitting on the couch looking innocent as usual. Raphael hadn't moved from his chair in the time that he had been gone.

Alister walked up to Valon and smacked the back of the boy's head. He fell in the floor and instantly began to whine.

"What the hell was that for? I haven't done anything to you… Why is your helmet still on inside?" He asked innocently.

"That's exactly what you did! You glued the damn thing to my head!"

"Oh… So I might have… My bad…," he said as he got up to run from the redhead.

"Oh no you don't! You're not going anywhere you little prick!"

Alister grabbed Valon by the hair to prevent him from running. Raphael perked his head up as he somehow managed to hear the doorbell ringing over the two boys roughhousing. He walked over and opened it to find a dark haired girl standing there with wide eyes.

The girl stared in awe upon seeing Alister holding Valon in a headlock as Raphael answered the door.

"May I help you?" Raphael asked.

"Umm… No… Sorry, I must have gotten the wrong house…" She said as she bolted for her bike and took off.

"SEE WHAT YOU COST ME? I COULD HAVE HAD THAT!" Alister screeched as he punched Valon.

"Like I was expecting you to actually meet someone!" Valon whined.

"You just wait… You'll get what's coming to you… And next time, I'll be deadly serious next time…"

"Uhh… What?"

"Just shut up!" Alister yelled as he stormed off to his room to try to pry off the glued helmet.

_Yeah, they're never going to learn. Not sure why I'm even surprised anymore_, thought Raphael as he went back to his chair past a fallen Valon.

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Ice: There we go! And extra huggles to those that get the quote at the end. Maybe next I'll run with Dark Mage of Sea's idea of them at a theme park…


	3. Toothpaste?

Ice: Terribly sorry for the disappearance. No internet where I live now leads to forgetting I can still work on this... This time it's DJ Henderson's idea.

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It had been a week since the day of the helmet. Alister had finally gotten it off after pouring a bottle of Goo-Gone to dissolve the adhesive. Valon had been living in fear the past week as Alister had yet to make a move on his revenge. It was constantly unnerving the poor boy as he was not quite sure what was going to happen to him this time.

The longer the torture went on, the worse it was. He found himself making his own meals and carefully guarding them if he so much as thought Alister had walked near him. He also started to sit in a corner in the living room where he could see everything and everyone. The paranoia was getting to him and he knew he wouldn't be able to stand it much longer.

In his room, Alister had started plotting his revenge. He wanted something subtle that the younger boy wouldn't notice until it was too late. He was aware of how bad Valon was freaking out since he had yet to make his move. Suddenly, the light bulb went off in his head and he had the perfect idea.

By now, Valon was in the kitchen making his lunch. He constantly looked over his shoulder as he fried the bacon for his perfect BLT. He had heard Alister's door open and feared that he would soon be around the corner after him. After a few minutes, he stopped worrying since there had been no sight of him.

Alister was actually heading to the bathroom. He thought about peeking in the kitchen, but decided it was better this way. At least better for him. It would ruin the idea he had if the kid ended up scalding himself with the pan. Besides, Valon had a ritual that Alister knew well.

Once inside the bathroom, he hunted through the medicine cabinet. Tubes and creams were scattered all through, but he had just one in mind. The perfect one that could be easily switched with toothpaste...

_I know it's in here... I just had it the other day for that insane muscle cramp... I know I put it back... Ha,_ he thought.

He grabbed the Icy Hot. It had wondrous effects for those irritating muscle cramps, but now it would have an awesome effect on an irritating brat. He grinned as he compared the tube to the toothpaste, perfect size. Now the only problem was to give it the label to throw him off.

He thought it about it for a few minutes before having a genius plan. He hunted for the spare scissors that always seemed to find their way in the bathroom. He wasn't about to ask who kept doing it, much less why. Just before he was about to make the first cut, someone banged on the door.

"How much longer are you going to be?!" Raphael yelled.

"GAH! Can't I have a moment of peace to myself for just five minutes?!" He shrieked.

_Geez, almost made me screw up before I even had a chance to get started..._, Alister thought to himself.

"Whatever, just be quick about it."

"Yeah, yeah."

Now that he was left to his own devious thoughts, he began to cut around the label. He carefully cut the toothpaste label off, wrapped it over the label of the Icy Hot. It was almost perfect except that it was likely to fall off. He looked around to find a solution.

_I know we had some superglue in here... Raph always keeps it around in case he ever slices himself up playing chef..._

Rummaging through the medicine cabinet, he located the superglue behind everything else. It was half empty. He hoped it had already seen normal use before becoming part of the medicinal lineup. If not, Raphael was dangerous in the kitchen...to himself...

He applied a light amount to the edges on the back of the label. Holding it in place for a few minutes, he couldn't help laugh at his brilliant idea. Something so minor became something so terrible. The brat was finally going to learn his lesson.

Once he was satisfied with his work, he put everything back the way it was, flushed the toilet so it seemed like he had a perfectly good reason for being there in the first place, and walked out.

"It's free!" He called to Raphael who was waiting in the living room.

"About time!"

He continued back to his room so as not to disturb the youngest member and his sandwich.

Valon had finally finished constructing what he deemed the perfect sandwich in the existence of sandwiches and settled down to devour it. The sheer perfectness of it almost brought him to tears as he ate. So perfect, so delicious, so wonderful...so gone.

He found himself absolutely depressed after the glory of the BLT. So magnificent, yet so short-lived. He almost contemplated making a second, but discarded the thought. There would never be another perfect sandwich worthy of the title.

_My beautiful, perfect, glorious BLT... How I loved thee... I shall never forget thee and thy sacrifice for my own nourishment. I salute you!_ He merrily thought.

After basking in his sandwich-devouring glow, he noticed that bits of bacon were stuck in his teeth stabbing at his gums. It was becoming painful and a workout to remedy the issue. He decided to get up and wandered to the open bathroom. Raphael had conveniently vacated it moments before.

_I think I'll just floss and get them out that way... That will do the trick._

He set to flossing and after a few moments noticed that while it had worked, his mouth just didn't feel quite right. He eyed his toothbrush, shrugged, and reached for his toothpaste. With the toothbrush armed and wet, he put it in his mouth.

Nothing seemed out of place when he started. Everything went smoothly as he brushed every tooth. Finally, he had to brush his tongue. That lasted for all of a few milliseconds. He began spitting the toothpaste out.

"HOLY MOTHER OF RA! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY DAMN TOOTHPASTE! GAH! THAT'S HOT!" He wailed as he tried rinsing his mouth with cold water.

He started jabbing fingers to rub his teeth in desperate attempts to get the cream off them. He grabbed the toothpaste container and the label peeled off revealing Icy Hot underneath. He knew immediately the one responsible for such a horrible prank.

Meanwhile, Alister was against the door listening to Valon's screaming. Laughing, he tried imagining what his face must have looked like when it hit him. It had to be priceless. If only he had thought to rig a camera for a picture.

Raphael was once again sitting his chair with his book and headphones. He thought he heard someone screaming, but since it was a frequent occurrence in the household, he ignored it.

_They'll work it out and be over this soon. Hopefully..._ He prayed.

Valon still was unable to get the heat under control and decided to make a run for the kitchen. The ice in the freezer was his last hope. He scrambled to the kitchen and clawed at the freezer door. He threw it open and grabbed a handful of ice. He crammed it into his mouth, enjoyed the moment of relief, and ran to Alister's room.

Alister was still giggling behind the door when it slammed open and threw him against the wall.

"What the hell... You do know how to knock, don't you?" He asked.

"YOU! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS HEINOUS ACT!" Valon screeched as he lunged for the redhead.

Alister rolled out of the way and ran out of the room. He fled outside and to what had previously been his safe tree. Raphael had recently trimmed the lower branches and nothing remained for Alister to grab. He backed against it fearing for his life.

Valon advanced towards him.

"NOWHERE TO GO NOW. HUH?! SUCKS TO BE YOU! I'LL FINALLY GET MY RE-GARBLEGARBAGGGHHHH!"

"HAHA-GRAHHHHBAAGGHHLLGHHH!"

"I've seriously had just about all I can take around this house. You two need hobbies," claimed Raphael as he hosed the two boys down, "this is getting ridiculous..."

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Ice: I hope you all liked it. I'm sorry again for being gone for so long. I need to get back into the swing of things. Please read and review!


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